scream in cathedrals

More poetry...

Little angel your wings are broken
Heart aches from the love unspoken
Alone in the dark you silently weep
Over the pain and fear you keep

Mend your heart, gather your wings
Soar high, it's your turn to sing
No more hoping, no more wishing
Today you take back what you're missing.
Marie S.

I Am Not For You
I am not for you.
You canât place your flag
Inside my body
And claim it as yours.
You have no right
To invade me.
Your parents have set loose
A man who is still a boy.
He has not yet learned
About stealing.
He has not yet learned
That a personâs heart,
Mind, and body
Are not property.
The human body is not for you
To take out of your cupboard
And use it at your convenience.
No, I am not for you.
You canât tell me you love me
Then do what youâve done.
You canât tell me you love me
Then claim you never did.
You canât tell me you love me
And pretend you didnât hear me say no.
You canât pretend to know
What is going on
Inside my head.
You canât claim you didnât feel
Me struggling under you.
You canât convince me that
You were too drunk
To realize that I didnât want you
Inside me.
No, I am not for you.
I am not your toy.
I am not within your limits.
I am not in love with you.
I am not under your control.
I am not your lover.
I am not your doll.
I am not with you.
I am not weak.
I am not stupid.
I am not numb.
I am not devoid of emotion.
I am not a whore.
I am not a casualty.
I am not an emotional cripple.
I am not a trinket for the horny.
I am not for you,
And I am not ever
Going to forgive you.
Jane

Rugburn
The blur of that night
Will repeat vividly in my head
Until the day I die.
Every night is that night.
The smell of fear and cheap perfume,
Rage and mud,
Screams and alcohol.
You look at me.
You lock the door.
And you crawl,
And you crawl,
And you crawl.
And I back up.
You grab my feet
And push me down.
And you pull.
Pull me toward you.
And all I think is,
"Well, isnât this swell?
You pull me to you once
And now Iâll always
Have rugburn."
Tearing of cloth.
Buttons pop away.
Cloth tears
And you hit me
And you hit me
And you hit me
And you hit me again
And again
And the blur, the blur, the blur.
And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never will
And it never will.
And Iâm shaking
And you hit me
And I scream
And I cry
And you hit me
And you cover my mouth.
But if whimpers can
Struggle through the cracks
Between your fingers
Why the fuck canât I?
And your fucking hands
And your fucking hands
My body
No
No
No-God, help me.
Get off me.
Muffled words.
Muffled by your fucking hands,
Your fucking hands.
But faster than that.
And where is God,
And where is God
While youâre inside me,
While Iâm crying
In pain and cheap perfume?
And the blur, the blur, the blur·
And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never will
And it never will
Jane

Yes I know my heart
But it doesn't know me well
There are things that I just cant tell
I have seen the lonliness that pain can cause the soul
Always torn apart, never a while

A smile quickly fades into the night
Eyes filled with love turn to fright
Anger and Sadness invade every sense of my being
I'm confused, dont know what I am seeing

Blood stains on my hands to wash away the pain
But the emotions still stay the same
I'm falling, falling away
from them, from him, from me
God only knows
Whether I stay, or whether I go.
Katie

~*Hands*~
As the hands touch me
I blame myself
For trying to steal
A grain of attention
Without getting hurt.
And I think that if I disappear
It will go away
If I'll pretend I don't see and hear
I'll forget this day.
The hands touch me over and over again.
And I crumble inside myself,
try to hide in vain
As the hands touch me
I blame myself
As the hands touch me
I hate myself
As the hands touch me
I slowly,
Peacefully die.
Ariane
ICQ-shade
AOL-melancholies

~*Stop This Moment*~
If I stop this moment
Maybe I'll be whole
Lose all memories
Horrid, big and small.
If I stop this moment,
The pain that I feed,
I won't have to hurt,
I won't have to bleed.
If I stop this feeling,
End the pain and strife...
Let me stop[ this moment
Let me stop my life.
Ariane
ICQ-shade
AOL-melancholies

~*To Remember*~
I want to remember
What I want to forget.
The face that left me scarred
The hands that left me soiled
The eyes that left me blind.
The things I do not know
About my past,
That leave me torn and broken
And will always last.
The things I beg to know,
The evil that I've met
I ache to remember
What I ache to forget.
Ariane
ICQ-shade
AOL-melancholies

13 switchblade to my neck
backseat broken handle
god
why me
why did i survive

(or did i never survive
at all)
hilary

That dreadful night so long ago.
Why did it happen?
No one will know.

It was a night full of hurt and pain.
Why did you do it?
What was there to gain?

I said stop but you didn't hear.
You kept on going and then left me in fear.

There sits a young girl hopeless and lost.
She has been crying because she has been tossed.

She has no where to go.
No one to turn to.
She tries to forget,
but there is too much regret.

My mind is constantly filled with thoughts of you
and what you did to me.

I have no one to blame
but you
the one who put me in this shame
but that is the past
and i must get on with my life at last.
Diane

   two am saturday morning, late friday night
   awake and still i'm dreaming,
   just wish it made some sense
   all these feelings from so long ago,
   haunt you - til tommorrow
   like yesterdays' still here

   so what do you do, with all this dreamin'
   and this screaming - deep within your head

   you can bang your head against the wall
   or cut until you bleed, and bleeding
   it only last so long
   and then what can you do

   to stop this dreamin and this screaming
   deep in your head

   i've been swimming, so long swimming
   in my head,
   drowning in my mind makes me wonder
   should i be dead
walter

was it real or a dream (nightmare)?
i can't even tell anymore
it seems so long ago
just a little over a year
i try to tell people
but it feels unreal
it was never acknowledged
so did it happen?
i remember it was very cold outside
the rope was rough
i was scared
we didn't talk about what we did
so did it happen?
it feels like
someone else's story
not mine.
i wasn't tied up
i wasn't held down
someone else
not me
i'm damaged
but i can't feel bad
it wasn't his fault
i tried to say no
but i couldn't
the words got stuck between my lips
perhaps that's why he shoved his finger in my mouth
to put those words back
did it happen?
let's pretend it didn't.
and i'm beautiful.
k

I feel it in my stomache, in the pit of my soul,
striving to fill this debt and escape this dredful hole,
as I rip through and fight my way through this painful hate,
I strive to make sense of my past, present and fate,
singing silent the pain I have seen,
searching longful to see what you mean,
when you say things get better, and knod your naive head,
ignorantly assuming, surely I'm asleep in my bed,
but I can not close my eyes in fear that there will be,
someone desiring to crush and desensatize me,
so I lay here quiet and grip my pillow with all my might,
and wait for sun to show itself tomorrow ends tonight.
Lindsay